“…I was sailing on dark seas again.
Other times I’d gotten out.
But this time there were no stars to guide me.
Maybe it’s never happen to you.
You wake up in the morning,
and all you want is to sink back into the darkness. Preferably dreamless.
Anyway, not to start living again.
I don’t know where you are right now.
But try to imagine:
Your blood has grown thick as tar.
Your thoughts lie on the ground like dead birds.
Your breath is suspended.
Okosama Star could go fuck itself
No point denying it: I was lost.”
(Cit. Opening speech from the movie “Nirvana” by Gabriele Salvadores)
This words were impressed in my mind for years since I saw that movie and in a way I’ve always wondered that they meant.
I was curious to know what the writer had been through to come up with something like this! Come on.. Blood thick as tar??
I have been a weed lover for many years and in a way or another I kind of had a J every day for many years. Moving to another country where it’s illegal didn’t stop me to get occasionally high, but I was noticing one thing that my love for weed was not letting me be properly aware of.
The weed in this new country was different.
Slowly that quote came back to my mind and every single word begun to match my actual status, word after word. Day after day.
After some time I noticed that the smell of that grass was chemical and its effect was slowly destroying my thoughts. I felt lobotomized and when I tried to think about something I could ear the endless “Beeeeeeeep” from the flat electroencephalogram!
Bad feelings were flying around my brain, bad pictures manifesting bad situations and consequent bad dreams and sleepless nights.
I felt like my energy was slowed down and my look was under a sort of mouth-breather effect.
Ideas stopped flowing and my life got in to an automatic life schedule system where in the morning I was a zombie and in the evening I just wanted to relax.
Like an addicted I was seeking that relaxing kiss but I noticed that if I didn’t have it with me I could easily stay without. Well, if I had it was better, but if I didn’t have it I was ok too. Just not stoned, whatever..
I realized that was all a state of mind, …..and a bad weed!
C’mon, I’ve been living in other countries between Caribbeans, Canada and Holland where pot is legal and at common use. The relaxing kiss has always been a blessing with joy and happiness, never got any slow down effect and never felt that chemical gasoline smell.
I gave up on this, not because weed makes me bad, but because bad weed makes me bad!
One day I just got tired of having my “blood thick as tar” and I just stopped getting it. After few workouts I started to feel my blood flowing again in my veins and arteries. I felt more alive, more ideas came into my mind and I got in to more action, more oxygen, more life! ….f@#k yeah!
If you want to smoke is up to you. But I suggest you to do it where is legal and quality protected. (After all, marijuana has a respectful history for thousands of years for its medical properties and other good reasons which I’m not going to list here).
However, don’t make it a lifestyle. Enjoy the good stuff with good company in good places at proper times.
You are what you are made of. Don’t give up on your pleasures, but learn that: “You should have pleasures but the pleasures should not have you”.
That moment when you are thinking: “I should get up and go running”, is the moment you should really do it. Not the moment to plan when you will be doing it in the next few days.
“..should I do it now.. or tomorrow morning early…..?”, cut the crap and just go! It’s the only way.
If you stop there to think about it, you are just wasting time by amusing your brain in healthy dreams. Go purge some sweat and make your heart pump oxygen in your blood for a while, you will feel the difference tomorrow morning.
Next time you want to buy some more pot, just wait. If you have it, you’ll smoke it.
When you want to smoke, but you don’t have it, go for a run, do some exercise, stay busy with what your body like to do.
Keep moving it and then look back at your old lifestyle. Which one is better?
Disclaimer Note: This article is work of fiction and is not intended to promote or advocate the use of any drug. The story is meant to give awareness of proper actions and resulting possibilities.